I saw him.

So he came around last week. We hung out. He played with me. Made me smile. Told me jokes. Made me laugh. Hugged me. Looked lovingly into my eyes. Held me. Made me remember the him that i love. Brung back memories. Touched me. Kissed me. Left me. Text me. Got angry at me. Lead me on. Text other girls. Hung with other girls. Didnt talk to me. Fully gone.

Yes all this did happen in four days. And no im not hurt. It just shows me that he wants to keep me there so that i dont go getting with other people or something along those lines.

Do i love him? Yes

Am i in love with him? No

Why? Because im in love with the old him...the person he is today means nothing to me. He use to stay in on weekends and just chill, now hes out driving with his mates and other girls going out to parties every single weekend. He use to treat me with respect. Now he lies to my face and makes me feel small. I dont deserve that. He use to go for girls like me? Now hes going for easy "sluts" and young girls. Can you see what im talking about?

Do i miss him? Yes

Much? Very often. But then i wake myself up from my little dream and remember hes not that person anymore.

Does hearing about him with other girls hurt me? To be honest not really? Only a bit. The reason it doesnt hurt is because he is texting up slutty girls. They arent to a high standard at all. They are just easy. The girls he is "getting into" are actually asking him if hes wanting a girlfriend? So if he does actually go out with them i will laugh. Because that was one reason why we broke up. Because he needed to be a boy and didnt want to be tied down.

One day this boy will hopefully wake up and realise how stupid he looks and what a mistake it was letting me go. If he does realise...it will all be too late and i wont want a bar of him.

Silly boys eh?