Hold my hand?

Okay. So a boy held my hand the other day and i looked down and just stared. So many things were running through my head. I sat there and thought about how wrong it was. Not the fact that he was holding my hand but the fact that he almost just 'wasn't doing it right'.

• His hand didn't fit right.
• His hands were too small.
• His fingernails were too neat and tidy.
• His hand were petite and delicate like a little girls.
• His hands didnt make me feel safe and secure like it should?
• His hands weren't the ones i was use to.

All this over a boy holding my hand?

Real or fake? Forever or just for now?

I fooled myself thinking that I was ever good enough, but I guess I'm just a sucker for a good liar.

this ain't a love song, this is goodbye.

fuck your ex. fuck anyone you thought caredabout you. fuck missing people. fuckinsomnia. i'm so done, fuck everything. fuckthe way you made me feel.
do what you want.

what if this time, i don't say hi first?

what if this time, i don't txt you back?

what if this time, i leave you wondering?

yeah what if this time, you're the one left feeling completely fucked over.

thank-you.

i don't know what for.

but thank-you.

thank-you for strengthening me.

im just not interested in your lies anymore

IM DONE.

I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me, you're one of them.

I have never felt this upset and hurt in a very long time.

He said to me he wanted to prove himself and blah blah. He never made any effort instead stayed at another girls house.

I am almost in tears and i dont know why?

His mum was telling me how quite he is and unhappy he is without me. You wouldnt think so?

The way he has/is acting is weird.

I have a lump in my throat and my eyes are blinking away the tears. Why am i hurting so much?

i actually have no idea. I want to see him tonight and sit down and tell him to sort his shit out once and for all. He either wants me in his life and is going to prove himself or im out and fully gone.

Please dont interrupt me when i am trying to ignore you.

Best friend.

Theres nothing better than knowing you have a best friend. Whos is always there. Tells you everything. keeps you informed. Is willing to tell you the truth no matter how much it hurts.

I love my best friend more than anything in the world :)

See you at dance tonight sister!

LIVE,LOVE,DANCE!

- T

UM WOW ;)

i think i'm about ready
to walk away now..

not afraid

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now

Its funny how i feel genuinely happy even though i lost one of the best things that ever happened too me. I think now looking back i can finally see that in the end he didnt do all he could to make me happy and as pathetic as that sounds i am one of those girls who loves to be over loved.

I love good morning texts, smiley faces and kisses on the end of messages and guys to ask me if i want to hang out not always me making the effort.

What girl doesnt like to be treated like a princess?

My ex says i have changed? Well to be honest this is how i see it. I cant sit around and be the same person as i was with him simply because that remind me too much of him. I go out more often to parties and hang with a different crowd of people on the weekend. he sees this as a bad thing. Its not. Its me creating the new me without him.

Its all very real now. We have finally ending everything,forever. It does pain me a bit but its for the best.

I now have the chance to focus on me and my future. I no longer need to worry about the other half of me.

My new favourite song is called Unbroken - Stan Walker. For the exact reason as the title. because of the new person in my life i am now starting to feel unbroken.

Unbroken Lyrics

I don't know what this is
But I can tell it's something that I can't miss
It's like happiness lives
And all I have the strength to do is turn to you
With every empty space
I'm missing pieces only you can replace
I'm like a package saying please don't break
The contents are fragile, so I'm glad your here to stay

I can promise you that this heart
Was brighter than a falling star
And all the money that I could take
Now theres nothing more I can break

You picked up my pieces and put me together
There's no way you'd ever know
That my heart was breaking
Cause you came and threw me a line
I was falling apart but now I'm falling forever
For someone who wont let go
My love's a token
Because of you I'm unbroken
Now every piece of my heart is falling back into place

Time stops
When I'm with you I count the seconds I got
Cause every minute I was something I'm not
You give them back to me
It's like history, don't mean a thing
When I'm trying run away I can't hide
I'm in the dark and all I see is your light
And your shining brighter than anything I've ever seen

And I can promise you this heart
Will be a falling star
Cause you know what it means

You picked up my pieces and put me together
There's no way you'd ever know
That my heart was breaking
Cause you came and threw me a line
I was falling apart but now I'm falling forever
For someone who wont let go
My love's a token
Because of you I'm unbroken
Now every piece of my heart is falling back into place

I just woke up from a dream when I was in one piece
No fragment of me had ever seen these streets
Love held me together and it never let me go

I just woke up from a dream when I was in one piece
No fragment of me had ever seen these streets
Love held me together and it never let me go
There's nothing left for me to break

You picked up my pieces and put me together
There's no way you'd ever know
That my heart was breaking
Cause you came and threw me a line
I was falling apart but now I'm falling forever
For someone who wont let go
My love's a token
Because of you I'm unbroken
Now every piece of my heart is falling back into place

I bolded my favourite lyrics and made them red! :)

- T

SOME PEOPLE NEED TO FUCK OFFFFFFF.

No man or woman is worth

your tears, and the one who is,

won't make you cry.

Never frown, even when you are sad,

because you never know who is

Falling in love with your smile.

Don't cry because it is over,

smile because it happened.

Sunday afternoon and i feel amazing. Im alone and im listening to great music and drinking an orange juice. I am in such a good head space/state of mind. I think i have just realised that i have made the best decision of letting go.

Im going to go buy a new duvet and a new diary. Re-arrange my room and print photos :)

Sounds like the perfect afternoon dont ya think??

- T

The Best :)

you do what you love,and fuck the rest

- little miss sunshine

When i look at my life now i love it, but sometimes i have them days where i remember all the things ive lost, all the times i screwd up, the times i made the wrong choice, the relationships im no longer in, the friends i no longer have.

I miss alot of it, and sometimes i still feel like i have an attactment to people that shouldn't be there because its not ever going to work and it may hurt the people in my life now but i just can't let go ;

It makes me wonder where i would be right now if all those things hadn't of happened to me.

But then i realise the pain and suffering i went through trying to unbreak the already broken. So i hold my head up high and be happy for what i have, for what i have is genuine love and happiness.

"Love Me, Leave Me"- Kat Deluna

The very first day of my life
Was the day that you let me go
It was a blessing in disguise
Now I see that I'm beautiful
Cause all we ever did was fight
We were so dysfunctional
Now I forgotten all the times
And all the days that I was loving you.

[Pre-chorus:]
Just like a ghost from my past (he's come back to haunt me)
Saying that you want me back (but that's impossible so...)

[Chorus:]
If you love me, leave me
Love me, leave me
'cause I've already closed that door
Don't want to be
In the pain I felt before
If I only could be myself
Without your approval anymore
(if you love me leave me)
If you love me leave me alone

Now there used to be a time

I would've taken you back again
Now I got you out of my mind
Now I'm totally independent
So you can save your little lies
'cause I know what's happenin'
You're missin' me but say goodbye now
To all the days I was lovin' you

[Pre-chorus]

[Chorus]

If you really wanna help
Than you should go
'cause I promised myself
I'd make it alone
At the back of the shelf
'cause where I put what we had
I'll never going back, no

[Chorus x2]

Sometimes i wonder why things happen the way they do.
Why god would ever want to hurt and bring people so much pain,
i know that everythings supposed to happen for a reason but sometimes i just dont get it. . .

Best thing ive ever heard

A BREAK UP IS LIKE A BROKEN MIRROR. IT IS BETTER TO LEAVE IT BROKEN THAN HURT YOURSELF TRYING TO FIX IT.

Perfection!

♥ ♥ ♥If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it. ♥ ♥ ♥

♥ People don't really need reasons and explanations in order to move on because moving on is easy if you start accepting everything ♥

"Do not allow people to dim your shine because they are blinded. Tellthem to put on some sunglasses, cuz we were born this way bitch!"

-lady gaga

WOAH you're fucking HILARIOUS!
LOL jk, you're an absolute wanker.

Everything You're Not lyrics
Songwriters: Gad, Tobias; Lovato, Demi; Robbins, Lindy;

I've been bruised and I've been broken
Can't believe that I put up with all this pain
I've been used and I was choking on the promise
I would never fall again

I used to sing to your twisted symphony
The words that had me trapped inside your misery
But now I know the reason why I couldn't breathe

'Cause all I want is everything you're not
So go ahead and slam the door 'cause you can't shut me out
No, I don't, don't care what you say
'Cause all I really, all I really want is everything you're not

Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again
Never wanna feel this way again

Your darkness was my weakness
But it turns out that it only went so deep, deep
A meaningless diversion
That is all that you ever meant to me, me, me, me

And I am done with your twisted symphony
The words that had me sound like stolen poetry
I tore the pages and I can finally breathe

'Cause all I want is everything you're not
So go ahead and slam the door 'cause you can't shut me out
No, I don't, don't care what you say
'Cause all I really, all I really want is everything you're not

Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again

I want a gentleman who treats me like a queen
I need respect, I need love, nothing in between
I will not spell it out for you if you can't see
'Cause you're not worthy, you don't deserve me and now I'm gone

Everything you're not, not, not
Everything you're not, not, not
One, two, three

'Cause all I want is everything you're not
So go ahead and slam the door 'cause you can't shut me out
No, I don't, don't care what you say
All I really, all I really want is everything you're not

Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again
Never wanna feel this way again

Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again
Never wanna feel this way again

Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again
Never wanna feel this way again

Hes fully gone. Now its a fresh start.

Kinda happy about it to be honest.

Nothing better than starting a new life with new attitude and new people.

BREATHE :)

it wasn't until i let go of you, forgave myself and you, that i felt how happy i could be without you.

I miss that.

Sorry.

Maybe in time.

Where are you pumpkin! I miss you! x

i know i'm playing with fire, but i don't mind.

everybody lies, but not when looking someone in the eyes.

remember one thing, you're beautiful.

but keep in mind, not everyones gonna see that.

you ask me to trust you as if it'sas easy as flicking a switch. standin my shoes and you will see, it'snot.
not after everything you've put me through.

'You know that feeling you get when you find something out about a person that makesyou wanna cry or die inside, but you already knew about it in your mind, but you justwanted that confirmation to make sure that it's true and when you get that confirmationthat it is true, your heart just implodes...''

i can just see this happening..

there are two ways to
be happy; improve your
reality, or lower your
expectations.