I could really use a wish right now ....

Sort it.

The fact your lying to me makes me think that your feelings for me are really ALL gone. You know your hurting me so why do it? Maybe you really dont care for me at all anymore. It feels that way. Ive already handed in my ball form so i have to take you. Maybe on that night you will look at me and you may realise you still love me... just maybe. I hate the situation we are in . I hate how your talking to me and such a rude and disrespectful manner. What have you done? Why have you changed? I know you talk to her on skype most nights. Im not stupid.You cant have secrets in palmy. it doesnt work because people talk. Its such a small city theres no point in trying to have secrets. So give up this little hurtful game. Its not fair on me and your just looking like a total dick.

Talk to me when you have stopped being a wanker. Talk to me when your going to be honest, to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. I have no more time for you and your lies.

just stay out of my head i shouldnt think this way

this isn't right

argh GET OUTTA MY HEAD !

Rainbows make me happy, in any form :)

fuck off.

i hope you had the best night of your life last night because i certainly had mine. I can now see you have no respect for me or any care or any sort of feeling towards me. Get out of my life because ive left yours.

cellphone messages erased.

I just went into the telecom store to pick up my cellphone which had been on the store getting fixed I had some saved messages in there from him from when we went out. They were such lovely amazing texts , but when i got my phone back today they had been deleted. It kind of hurt :( but in someways its a good thing because i dont know if i had the strength to do it myself. Either way they are gone now.

I still miss him. Help?

     

The way i love you.

Seeing you at the gym last night was good.... until i said goodbye to you. My god it was SHIT. I really wanted to walk up to you and give a a kiss and a big hug, say i love you then go. But i know i couldn't. Having dinner with you on monday night was truly amazing it gave me reason as to why i love you. It was amazing how it all just fell back into place, like it was when we were together. It showed me how easily it could go back to normal. The way you looked at me when we were laying on your bed. How you grabbed my hand and squeezed it (to say i love you). The way you held me. The loving look in your eyes when i walked into the room. The love between us is still there. I miss you baby. I love you more than anything x

This is what happens inside when im around you.

The only

sweet thing

that touches

my lips now,

is candy.

Maybe one day we will be together again, but for now i will carry on and live my life without you...even if it hurts.

if

you

don't

mean

what

you

say

then

shut

the

fuck

up

is it wrong that i still think about you.thinking that one day, we could maybe try again.that you'll turn up on my doorstep telling me you're sorry and that you still love me. or am i just fucked up.

Speechless-Gaga

Could we fix you if you broke?

And is your punch line just a joke?

And i know its complicated but im a loser in love, so baby raise a glass to mend all broken hearts.

Pretty Dash Of Colour

That gentle vibration that goes right down my stomach to the tip of my toes. That's the kind offeeling I get when I kiss you..

Love lost is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end. Love doesn’t.

NOTHINGS PERFECT IN THIS LIFE.
NOTHINGS THE WAY YOU IMAGINE THINGS.
NOTHING GOES ACCORDING TO PLAN.
it sucks

And yet the day ends with a couple of tears

and  a  sad  sad  face;

If you love someone,put a circle around their name instead of a heart because as pretty as it looks, hearts can be broken but circles go on forever!

BLAH

Stop talking that blah blah blah!

My Heart Continues to Pain Without Him

going through all my photos on my computer and it really hurts. He is everywhere? Its amazing how genuinely happy the both of us were. Weird how things change eh?

Looking at this is like a stab in the stomach.

help?

I know its probably just a weak moment, but i am hurting? I have been so good all this week until now. Kind of sucks when all you want to do is go over there and get a hug. I really dont like missing him because i know he's fine. So annoying.

Sat Night...

I had such a good night. I was sensible and didnt do anything i would regret! Very happy.

I miss him right now....kinda want to text him. I would love to go to his house now and just watcg movies in bed. I loved when we use to do that on sundays. Not anymore though.... i know.

Ball hair?

So True

Feeling good :)

These past two days i have been feeling so GOOD! I have been having fun and just getting on with my life. I am enjoying it to. I am getting excited for the ball and organizing things with ellie :) This weekend i think i am just hanging with the girls. I cant wait, its been so long. Gym this afternoon then maybe catch a movie! Thank god its friday! 

working out

Gym at 4.30pm today then Pilates with Paigan at 6! very happy that i am finally taking care of my body and getting into shape. Thats one good thing about a break up, a good body :P haaaha would trade all that in for how things use to be...

Actually no. I take that back. I would keep doing what i am doing now, and see him a few times a week. So we still had each other but got to do our own thing. That, in my eyes, would be perfect! I guess i dont have the power to do that. I just carry on and be strong. Im getting good at that :). I love you always .

sleep? what sleep?

For some unknown reason i do not sleep anymore. The funny thing is, i am one of those people who have to get 9-11 hours of sleep a night. But i just never go to bed? I seem to be coping okay without it, my voice has gone though hah. Its almost like i am scared to go to bed? Because nothings scarier than an open mind. The things your mind conducts unwillingly is frightening and can really get you worked up. When half the times its nothing. Its just you simply letting your mind run free, thinking of all the "possibilities" and the "what ifs" and "buts".

Sleep? I guess i have to? Its 11.15pm on school night. I use to go to bed at 9.30pm. What happened to reality?

Life is....

Life is busy, dont know if i would say thats good or not....guess it is better than doing nothing and feeling alone. It is amazing though how you can be surrounded by family and friends yet feel so alone. That feeling is slowly going away....

Google Images is very fulfilling !

As sad as it is, this cartoon makes me smile.

Try and stick it back together alone.

......

I love you.

Fun :)

Off to hang with Tammy then got hair apt at 7.00pm ! x

Wellington trip :)

I had such an AMAZING trip down in Wellington. Got a beautiful gown and some cool winter boots. I am not sure what im doing tonight quite yet? hopefully go out? or hang with the girls? WHO KNOWS!! sure i will have fun!

Cant wait to show the girls my dress! its very exciting !!!

Have a fab Sat night every one!X

Byebye Baby

xo

The weekend ahead...

Here we go! My first full weekend without you!

Going to be doing everything without you this weekend and for many more weekends to come. It hurts thinking about that but i have realised life goes on and that i cant get my self down. Strength is something you choose, and i choose to be strong and carry on with my life even if that means i am doing it without you.

Gym tonight, i will you see you there but i am strong enough to be mature about it... it think! hah! Then off to Wellington with the mother looking for a ball gown! Saturday night? undecided. It will be the hardest of them all because that was the night we use to share with each other. New routine now. I will find something fun and fulfilling.

Heres to a strong weekend. I can do it. I have to do it,

Tears of a broken heart.

Hopefully a good night.....not with you.

So i have been thinking alot today. He was the person who made me smile and laugh for a year. The person i could proudly say loved me. And now hes gone. Off to do whatever he wants with anyone he wants WHENEVER he wants. Love is so painful when you have to let it go. But i will rise above and keep myself focused. Im a strong independent person. I know in my heart and mind that i will be okay. Like my mum said “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” Thanks mummy :) That is the best thing you've ever said to me.

"Rock the house" tonight :) i will have fun.

Hello :)

This is going to be a lot of fun :)